I saw my first riot van in ages tonight! I was wandering around Truro, man it’s nice to be back in a city again. There were these two girls walking past Burger King, when two drunken guys (Who obviously knew them) came running up to them. One of the guys grabbed hold of one of the girls (By the waste, Ha!) and tried to lift her up onto his shoulders. The girl was wearing a mini skirt, her legs were thrashing around everywhere (Very un-lady like) and she started screaming. Well, the guy hadn’t yet managed to get her up onto his shoulders, and when she started screaming, he started stumbling.
So his friend came to their assistance, he put his big greasy hands onto her perfect peach shaped ass and hoisted her up onto his drunken friend’s shoulders. And she sat up there for a good four or five seconds before the drunken twat stumbled again. Of course there was not even a lamppost for him to grab hold of to balance himself and his friend had moved off and was now talking shit to the other girl.
So the guy with the girl on his shoulders grabbed the only thing available, which was of course the girl’s legs which were dangling about his chest. Needless to say, this gave him no kind of balance whatsoever and the two of them crashed to the floor, face-wards.
I was about six foot away at the time, I saw that golden blonde head bounce off the floor and back up about a foot and then down again with a loud cracking sound, I could see no blood but she had started screaming again, bless her, and do you know what? She was still wrapped around the drunken guy’s neck. You will probably think me a bit old fashioned, but I would have simply taken her home and shagged her!