no new messages [Poem] by Ben Newell

 

635107783253149807102

$115
and some change
has been deducted from my checking account,
compliments of match.com,
a bogus charge
as I deactivated many months ago,
so I call 1-800-926-2824
for assistance.

The customer service representative
fixes the problem
rather quickly and painlessly
before asking me why I’m leaving;
she says they really hate
to see me go.

I cite financial woes
because the truth is far too humiliating,
the utter lack of interest
in my profile,
those daily/debilitating blows
to my self-esteem.

In a desperate ploy to retain,
she offers me
a considerable discount,
but I’m already miles away—

Reading escort ads on backpage.com
where the women don’t care
that I’m a slender cigarette smoker
with no political views
to go with my annual salary
of less than 25K.

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