Subtle yet powerful, these poems by Lisa Jacqueline Graves match our aesthetic of beautiful, raunchy, serious…fun.
Click here to read on Issuu
Subtle yet powerful, these poems by Lisa Jacqueline Graves match our aesthetic of beautiful, raunchy, serious…fun.
Click here to read on Issuu
Chapter Ten: Big Trouble
I moved in with John in Phoenix, saying goodbye to Reno and all the wild fun I had there. Things were going great between John and me. In fact, I was six months pregnant with our first child! The sex has been amazing, and my insatiable man probably enjoyed it even more than I did, my large breasts getting even bigger and my swollen vulva – well, fuck, I thought I came hard before – my sensitivity was off the charts. “You look really good with some extra weight on you,” he’d say. Maybe he had a pregnant fetish, who knows.
Because our good fortune was unexpected, we decided to wait to get married until after the baby came, but meanwhile I had been working for a pretty prestigious firm and making some good money, even more than I was in my previous profession as willing call girl to the lustful gamblers and resort rats of Reno. I looked back that period as one of tremendous growth, culminating in my soon to be marriage. I had a man that loved me so much he was willing and apparently able to forgive all of my history, of which he only knew a part, but enough. As for how we met, well, people meet however they meet. In our case, he was just some burly guy who stuck his cock in my ass as soon as he got my clothes off and double-penetrated me with another dude. It’s funny how things work out.
My boss, Deloise Hampton, was a strong, beautiful woman who was about Connie’s age. Far from being completely over being my own woman and not John’s soon-to-be one and only, I would occasionally find myself attracted to her. However, I had to keep my pants on, not only for the sake of my relationship, but my job. Carnally speaking I was still off the rails a bit, but somehow or another, this girl had to get right. It was also hard to resist all the male energy in the firm. Reminiscing about my first night of unbridled lust with three of my coworkers, which started the fire inside me, was as good as it was going to get. I knew John understood who he was marrying, but I wanted so desperately to be a good, loyal and trustworthy wife.
When I couldn’t handle it I would go into the bathroom and play with myself, careful never to scream when I was coming. That was as good of a girl as I was going to get. I chuckled that if found out I would claim it was a medical condition. I often wondered what was wrong with me…or my libido…even thought I might seek counseling. But all the voices in my head told me to just accept who I was and roll with it. So I was a horny would be MILF. There were worse things in the world I could be. Almost every night when I’d get home John would be waiting for me and he’d welcome me as only he could. Sometimes, if I was tired, I’d just suck his cock. I figured I was well on my way to being a well-kept, fawning wife. But my past was about to come back to bite me in the ass in the worst way.
One Saturday morning our doorbell rang and it was Deloise, along with someone who I never thought I’d see again, Eddie.
“What are you doing here?” my pissed off fiancé said.
“And hello to you too,” Eddie said.
“Well, what the fuck?” John said.
“Wait a minute,” I said, “you two know each other?”
“Oh us? We go way back,” Eddie said.
“College sweethearts,” she said.
This made me think. Was she the one that Connie took Eddie away from? I was more curious than angry. But what did they want?
“Who do you think got you the job at Deloise’s firm?” Eddie said.
Fuck me. He was still pulling my strings. Really?
“We think it’s time you come clean, Wanda,” she said. “After what Eddie told me here and what I know about your future husband, I think it’s long overdue.”
“Wait,” I said. “What the fuck do you know about my future husband? You know him?
I was so fired already I didn’t care.
“Once I found out who you were marrying, I couldn’t stand idly by and let you lie to him or to Eddie. I know from firsthand experience that your man here, well, he couldn’t have gotten you pregnant if he tried. He shoots blanks.”
John’s head hung low. I could see that what they were saying was true. I had no idea. I felt really bad for him, but I was also enraged at the fact that he had fucked my boss. When and how often? It was probably another one of Eddie’s games. John sure liked the older women; first Connie then Deloise. It seemed like I wasn’t the only one with a past. But then I tried to quickly overcome it. What was good for me was good for him. I then felt sad that I couldn’t possibly be carrying his child and that nothing good ever seemed to come from my meanderings.
“And as for you,” Eddie said to me, “how about you tell him about our last night together. When was that exactly? About six months ago I think.”
“John, I swear, it was only one night. It was right before you came back into my life. I was weak. Lonely. I hadn’t had sex in almost five months. I know how much you despise him and I thought I was over him. But it happened. I met him at the resort we used to go to back when he was still married to Connie…”
“I don’t want to hear it,” he said. “So what you’re telling me is that baby inside her is yours? I knew it wasn’t mine, but I didn’t care. Just as long it was anyone else’s but yours!”
“She’ll always be mine,” Eddie said.
John’s response was a right hand to Eddie’s jaw, knocking him off the front step down onto the front yard. It was at that point I fainted. When I woke up, the paramedics were putting me into an ambulance.
Fate will not and cannot be denied, that’s why you learn to take the good with the bad. And most of it is good. Really really good. You just have to let it happen.
After the incident with the sheriff, I decided to focus all my energy into getting my real estate license so I could “get a real job” and move on with my life. Connie let me live with her for the five months it took for me to pass the test. During that time, unfortunately Connie and I were much less intimate with one another, she choosing to pursue things with the Sheriff. I was happy, really happy for both of them. It seemed like a fairy-tale ending; childhood sweethearts, or thereabouts. Meanwhile here I was, alone again. So, I decided to go out one night looking to rekindle a little of what was such a fun and lucrative enterprise. Just once more I thought, for the hell of it. After that I would have to become a respectable and hopefully prosperous woman. Although it saddened me a little, there was no use pretending that I still didn’t feel like that classic grown-up person. I had heard you were supposed to just fake it. I could do that.
I was sitting at the bar when John walked up to me. I was startled and a bit red faced. It was as if he had caught me in some kind of shameful, sinful act.
“Buy you a drink?” he asked.
“I’ve already got one,” I said.
“Let’s have another, then,” he said. I had to admit I liked it when he was forceful, not the wishy-washy pussy I had beaten the shit out of months ago.
After several more rounds I was getting drunk.
Fuuuck I thought. Shitfaced and not getting any action at all.
“What’s it going to take?” he asked.
“For what?” I said.
“To go upstairs with you,” he said, “I know what you’ve been up to this past year and I have a proposition for you.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked.
“I’ll pay anything to sleep with you again,” he said, even more boldly.
“Well,” I said, “the going rate is pretty steep, but in your case, it’s really fucking steep.”
“How much?” he asked pointblank, undeterred by my insulting tone.
“How much you got?” I asked.
“About Ten Thousand,” he said.
I couldn’t help but choke and spit my drink out. He was serious. Ten grand to fuck me?
Don’t pussy out now, I thought. I was talking to him. I was ready. More than ready. I could take anything for ten G’s.
“Let’s go,” I said. I trusted him, figured he was good for it. In any case I’d take whatever he had, which was sure to clean him out. Teach that fucker a little lesson about what’s good for him.
Intoxicated as I was, I felt utterly flattered that anyone could desire me so much. Words were fine and good, but to pay someone that amount of money, well, I had to admit that was putting up or shutting up. We stumbled up to the room and before I even turned around he was behind me pulling my hair to the side and kissing my neck.
“Show me the money,” I said.
“Wanda,” he said, “I don’t have any cash on me. Well, not much anyway. But I do have this…”
We reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a navy blue box. What the fuck?
Kneeling before me he said “Wanda Casey, I love you and I want you to be my wife. In fact, I demand that you be my wife. You belong to me. You’re mine.”
What a proposal. He got it; he knew he couldn’t be too weak or I’d laugh in his face. It was an incredible ring, a Ritani, 2 carat round diamond by the look of it, with a Solitaire Six-Prong Knife-Edge setting. A girl just knows these things.
“And I am yours,” I said, not knowing whose voice that was “– yes, yes I will be your wife!” I was so thrilled, and besides, what the fuck else was I going to do with the rest of my life? The liquor made it easy for sure, but I would never admit to being persuaded by a guy who poured booze down my throat. I wanted this. I wanted this man who I could tell would be there no matter what.
He slid it on my finger. It fit very well. I pulled my hand up to get a closer look at the thing and I saw three diamonds instead of one, but they glistened a triple vision sparkle I had never seen before.
He was then in between my thighs, kissing the upper portion of my legs just near my pussy which had become wet for this dude. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit.
“Wait a second,” I sighed, sliding my dress off of my shoulders and down off of my luxurious body.
“Now, go ahead,” I said.
He spread my thighs apart and put his index and middle fingers up and inside me through my panties. He fingered me like a fucking stud – usually I wasn’t too impressed by the finger action but he knew how to do it well. His head rested against my belly and he kissed my belly button, driving me wild. What the fuck? Was I about to…come? FUUUUUCCCKKKK I gushed on his hand, dripping all over the poor hotel’s carpet. He licked his hands and fingers, savoring every drop of my orgasm.
Steering me by my ass with two strong hands he threw me down on the bed. I lay flat, totally unable to do anything to stop him. And why would I want to? I heard his belt unbuckle and pants drop to the floor with a thud. The next thing I felt was a sensation I had felt before – longed for for so long…his cock in my ass! I couldn’t believe he just went for it, but didn’t he always just do that? That was one of the reasons why I loved…could love him. I still wasn’t sure about that. But I was marrying the hairy fucking monster.
He worked it gently but not too gently, making me feel the pressure of his fat cock in my ass pressing against my vaginal wall. I recalled the first time he took me, with that nice guy Taylor, and in lieu of the same double penetration action, I stuck two fingers inside my pussy to intensify the sensation. I gushed again.
Finally, I could feel him begin to convulse and breathe really heavy. Yes – yes – yes! He exploded with a righteously fat come shot all over my shapely ass. He hadn’t even tried the pussy of his future bride, just went right for my dark territory.
“God dammit,” he grunted, “Fuck. Wanda. Oh my fucking god!”
He slapped his manly cock all over his come spray and worked it around, making my skin a glistening, sticky mess. He gave my ass cheek one last slap and a little more come came out of his hot prick.
“Oh John,” I chuckled. These men were all the same. At least they called me by the right name. They all did that.
He grabbed my hand and held it tight.
“Just the two of us now,” he said.
I smiled. Fucking damn right. I wanted to be owned by him, make him come hard every time, do little things for him to show him I cared. Was that love? It was a different feeling than I had for Eddie; I guess that wasn’t really love either. I saw that now. And was I glad it was over. John made me feel different – not the same as Eddie because who could – but it was a good different, every bit as wild as he whom I really shouldn’t even have been thinking about.
Exhausted, we slept side by side in our sty of lovemaking.
Only one more part to go!
Long Arm of the Law
There can be so much kindness in strangers, such undeserved kindness, that it sends you sailing back on course, rescuing you from terrible jaws, before it truly is too late to turn back. Some people call them angels.
Connie and I were having a blast in Reno, playing our little games with the unsuspecting but sexually hungry and affluent community of men who were looking for a pair of blond vixens to share a night with—one they’d never forget. And who wouldn’t want that? I felt so empowered, so free, and most importantly I was having fun, real drama-free fun for the first time I could remember. Plus I was able to squirrel away some amazing cash, which was going toward me getting my real estate license.
One of our latest customers was a fat jovial man named Hubert. We met, had a few drinks, the usual kind of thing. Once up to our room however, the whole dynamic changed when he flashed his badge! Oh fuck, I thought, we’re going to jail. But Hubert – Sherriff Hubert Johnston, said he knew what we were up to and just warned us that what we were doing was dangerous. Not altogether illegal in Reno except for the organized crime element that existed. Two girls like us making our money as we were out of sight from everyone would not go over well with certain people. We decided then and there not to take any more chances. I was sad, however, because it seemed like a really good thing that we had going on.
“That all being said,” Hubert said, “I would like to…sample some of what you ladies have to offer, if that would be OK.”
“I feel like we owe you, big time, for the warning,” Connie said.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Let’s just call this one ‘on the house’” she said.
Moving around behind him while he sat there, Connie placed a gentle kiss on his neck and began unbuttoning his shirt. I knelt between his large thighs and undid his belt. I could feel something rather big forming inside his pants. Once I got the button undone and unzipped him, out flopped by far the largest cock I had ever seen – bigger than Richard, bigger than Shawn.
“Oh my God,” I said, stuttering.
“You don’t remember me, do you, Connie?” he said. I wasn’t sure how he knew her real name but I figured it was a police thing.
“Should I?” she whispered, kissing him on his lips.
“High School,” he said. “You don’t remember. We went to High School together.”
“Shit, really?” she said.
“Yes,” he said, “I remember you so well, prettiest girl in the whole school. I can remember having quite a crush on you.”
“I…I…I don’t know what to say,” she said. “But I think I do remember you now. Wow, how have you been Huey?”
“I’ve been better,” he said. “My wife passed away a couple of years ago. Cancer.”
“I’m sorry to hear that baby,” she purred.
“We’re going to take away all your pain,” I said. Was that the right thing to say?
I put my lips on his huge cock and tried to fit it all down my throat. I didn’t even make a dent in it. He gasped.
“It’s been my dream to have you, Connie,” he said. “Can I have you tonight?”
“Of course you can sweetheart,” she said. “But I want you to have Wanda here first. Would that be OK?”
“Sure, kind of like an appetizer?” he said.
Fuck. I was the appetizer for what was to be one hell of a fucking.
I undressed him completely and he engulfed me with his massive body, stroking, kissing, kneading, twisting me every which way. Finally he entered me, spreading my pussy like never before.
“Fuck!” I screamed. “Oh God Fuck!”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said. “I hope I haven’t hurt you.”
“No, honey, please keep going!” I yelled.
It was kind of like being shot then pinned down while your assailant smothered you. It was reminiscent of some times when John would dominate me – but nothing as fierce as this. He sent me spiraling and crashing, orgasm after orgasm until I was limp. I just closed my eyes and focused on the sensations. I had never had such a sound fucking in my entire life. It went to show me I never knew what to expect out of this life – here was a man that was not at all attractive by most people’s standards, but who could surprise you in many ways, not to mention an immeasurably big cock.
“Connie, please hon, take over for me,” I panted.
That would serve him well, basically admitting I was defeated and pleading for mercy. I knew how to serve a man’s ego as well as his body. Not that I wasn’t finished really. Done. But he wasn’t haughty about it; it was as natural to him as anything would be for a burly bear of a man.
“What I’ve waited so long for,” he smiled.
“Fuck me,” she said, taking the same position I was just previously in.
You could see on his face it was more than just sex. He wanted to make love to the woman. There was a difference. A huge difference.
He did the same to her as he did to me, finally pulling out and depositing his seed on the lady’s swollen labia with a furious grunt. I can only guess what her experience was, but I imagined it was close to mine. I knew from her look she was not only satisfied but had an attachment for him. I also felt close to this man for some reason, like we could all be good friends. It would be a shame to see him go. I have to admit to being somewhat sentimental about each one of our “guests.” I guess that didn’t make me a very good hooker.
“Was that everything you could have wanted?” Connie asked him. He was speechless. She knew.
We curled up with him and went to sleep.
And here we are still
Touching, still embraced.
What is pleasure?
What is pain?
Are they the same to you
Dear Asha, what lengths
Do you drive to in order to
Meet me here in this cross-
I’m short of breath just
Getting this far – and all
My chances are pinched
And held by your sour heart,
The heart I care too much for.
The devil is a master at
The stroke and you are she.
And hours later (maybe only
Minutes) I’m still tied to the
Chair of loving you.
One day I sat with Natasha near her house, eating the cakes she gave me. Her parents hated me. They thought that I was useless scum. Even her Father, a pathetic drunk, despised me. But Natasha sorta loved me and sometimes brought some food from home. And even bought booze, if she managed to steal money from her old people. She was a kind girl.
Just the day before we had got shitfaced drunk. After we had finished two bottles of vodka at my place, we decided to go somewhere. I do not remember exactly where and it is not very important. Maybe to Van Gogh, who had invited us to visit him last weekend. When we went out it was already getting dark. Natasha, when drunk, usually rushes straight forward like a tank, and does not see anything in front of her. And there on the corner, near a bus stop, a Mercedes, was making a U-turn, and the girl crashed right into it. Natasha fell down. I began to lift her, but she collapsed on me… Eventually, we sobered up a bit and began to laugh like two idiots, sitting on the ground.
But this is not very important either. The most interesting things are to come. So, we sat on the bench, eating those goddamned cakes and thinking about how to get a drink. We were absolutely broke. No money at all.
And then we saw two people, a drunken guy and a tipsy girl, coming to the entrance. And the fella asks if we would treat him to some cake. Yes, of course, no problem, I say, here you are. The guy is much obliged. He calls me a great man and invites me and Natasha to his place. It turned out that they were profiteers and traders, Max & Svetka, and rented a room in this very block-of-flats on the second floor. Inside there are three bottles of vodka on the table and some stuff to eat. Well, decent food actually: salami, chicken legs, even fruit salad… I do not remember exactly what else. It’s not important.
We sat down at the table in the kitchen. In the room there was no furniture at all except for a single mattress on the floor and an old stereo. We did not listen to the music, though. We started to drink booze right away, one glass after another, as if in a hurry. And chatted about something, as if had known each other for a long time. Laughed a lot too, like fucking idiots.
Max was the first to pass out. He began shouting something unintelligible, flapping his hands like they were wings, then ran off into the room, just fell right down on the mattress and was still.
Shortly after this, Natasha followed suit. She passed out at the table. Me and Svetka dragged her to where Max was on the floor.
So me and the gal sat in the kitchen, drank vodka, talked and laughed. Svetka knew a lot of bawdy jokes. We laughed a lot. Suddenly her face darkened. She took a large knife from out the table drawer and said to me:
“If you’re a man, stab Max. I hate the fat animal. He ruined my whole life. I’ve poisoned him several times already, but it didn’t work yet. Kill that motherfucker, I beg of you.”
I wasn’t, thank God, that drunk at that moment, though we drank much. Quickly figured out the consequences. Okay, I slay the boar. Then fuck this slut. And then what?
“And then,” she tells me, “we’ll go with you to Van Gogh.”
“Do you know him?” I am surprised.
“Of course. I am his godmother.”
“We’d better go to him right now,” says I, “and then we’ll deal with Max.”
“Well, OK,” agrees Svetka.
So, she dresses, takes the knife with her, and we go out. It’s night already and it’s pretty cold too. To keep us warm we buy a bottle of counterfeit vodka in a stall and drink it in the bushes. Svetka instantly begins to carry on like crazy. She sucks me off on her knees and then hugs me real tight. I see her scarlet mouth, wide-opened and quite mad blue eyes and get very excited, throw down the nutty bitch in the mud and fuck her good and proper.
We had to take a cab to get to the distant neighborhood where Van Gogh lived. But Svetka had a lot of dough on her. That was a good day at the bazaar.
Arrived. Went up to the seventh floor. Began to knock on the door. The silence is complete. Finally, Van Gogh’s mum asks in a low voice:
“Who the fuck is there in the dead of the fucking night?”
“Open up, fucker!” Svetlana yells and pulls out the knife. Whispers to me
“Now, I’ll stab the bitch.”
But Van Gogh’s mother was a smart woman. She knew her son’s pals very well. She shouted behind the closed door that she would call cops right away if we didn’t fuck off that very moment.
So, we had to fuck away until it was too late.
When we returned to the flat, Max was already stirring and moaning. Natasha was muttering in her sleep. She was probably strangling someone in a dream. I and Svetka all of a sudden began to laugh wildly like two idiots. What a fucking life.
Here’s a sample poem from Sophia’s upcoming Sleep Hazzard Press release Smoke Show:
I never went to homecoming.
No dances, no dresses.
Never for me. Just not.
The house was so warm, and glowing.
I took the keys.
Pearl had a bag to bring in.
Right to the shower
Past all mirrors.
I will not be exposed to my own
right now self. Earlier, she was cute tho…
I get the water hot.
After steam fills the room,
Pearl cracks the door.
When you skip your shift,
lets drive to the beach?
Yes! I shout.
This voice, a sharp surprise,
echoes in the tile around me
hovering with her laugh.
In bed, she is eating raspberries.
Her parents named her right,
though I’m never sure they named her.
She lays a raspberry in the cradle of her stomach
crowning her nose.
A new type of Cherub.
I gobble them up.
We pile more into our mouths.
All the little reds
so alive in our bedroom.
All the raspberry stains
my mouth leaves
on Pearl’s pale ass.